


Who left me outside?

by FancifulRivers



Series: faded morning glories and hopes for a better future [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: (From the viewpoint of Frisk), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Child Neglect, Disabled Character, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Misgendering, Past Child Abuse, Second Person, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-07 17:38:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5465126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FancifulRivers/pseuds/FancifulRivers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Outside the mountain is a lot better than they thought it would be.</p><p>Until Frisk sees a familiar face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who left me outside?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Undertale.
> 
> So apparently I'm on a full Undertale/this AU kick, so enjoy this full-fledged one-shot series, I guess.

You don't notice her at first. Sans is holding one hand (bones reassuringly firm beneath your fingers) and Asriel is holding the other. Chara refuses to hold hands, but they bump against your back every few minutes, and you know it's their way of saying they care. They couldn't hold your hand even if they wanted to anyway- hand-holding is too hard when you're clunking around on forearm crutches, and today's a bad enough pain day that Chara's brought the hated things along. You've all decorated them with stickers and pasted-on ribbons and even little LED lights that blink rainbow, but Chara still hates them. It's a reminder of before, and you know what it's like to be confronted with all the things you wish you could forget.

Like now. 

You stop still for a moment, nearly making Asriel fall over. She hasn't seen you. You don't think that she will. She's talking into her cell phone and she sounds angry. You always used to wonder if she had another tone. Her cart's full of TV dinners and wine bottles and you don't realize that your throat has started to close up and you're hyperventilating until Sans and Asriel tug at your hands and Chara nearly body-slams you into the next aisle. 

"Breathe," Chara demands, but you can't, you just  _can't_ , and you know you should, because it's bad when you don't do what you're told, but it's not until you're enveloped in the world's clumsiest group hug (and Asriel's accidentally standing on your foot) that the world washes back into its proper hues and you think maybe you're still alive after all.

"Sorry," you wheeze. "Just- I- Can we go?" you ask, voice shaking. You've only just started shopping (you only wanted to get Alphys a birthday present anyway), but Sans nods immediately.

"Shortcut?" he asks and you nod weakly. Before you can even close your eyes, you're standing in the middle of Toriel's living room, Chara and Asriel squashed around you. Away from the fluorescent lighting and crowded aisles, you're not even sure it  _was_ her. It could have been anyone. There are loads of people around here with shoulder-length brown hair, who wear taupe heels and carry their cell phone like they are angry at the world. It's probably not her. Even if it was, you doubt that she would have recognized you. You're taller and you weigh a little more and your hair is cut, pulled back from your face with a headband (it's got a golden flower pinned to the side, and Asriel mock frowned when Chara gave it to you, but not really, because their giggles were too nice to hear), and besides, you looked  _happy_  and  _safe_ and those must be foreign expressions to her anyway. 

But you still can't stop shaking and your legs give out and before you know it, you're sitting in Asriel's lap while Chara throws away their crutches with a snort of disgust and lowers themself to the floor next to you, and Sans just sort of leans against the wall (but you didn't know a skeleton's face could hold so much concern).

"It's nothing," you hiccup, but you don't know who you're reassuring, and even you don't believe it.

"Bullshit," Chara snorts indelicately. Asriel flicks Chara's ear and they scowl at him. "What?" they defend themself. "You think it's bullshit, too."

"Language," Asriel says, and Sans laughs. 

"Hey, Tori ain't here right now," Sans reminds him. "No big deal, kid."

But Chara's cheeks are still kind of pink and you don't look at them for a few minutes, just in case.

You want to tell them. They know the general outlines of your life, sketched in worn out sneakers and a much-re-used bandage. They know why you'd climbed the mountain. 

But they don't know the  _details_ and those are what scare you the most. They don't know that your mother called you a monster when you were four years old and you'd spilled milk all over the floor when your feet tangled up in the carpet. They don't know you were sent to your room for the entire weekend when you were six because you pushed a boy down on the playground for pulling your hair and the teacher called your parents. They don't know the whims and vagaries of your mother's drinking habits, the way you faded yourself into a corner and learnt how to become invisible. The way the lady at the church said you must be ungrateful when you told her the truth about your mother's treatment of you. The way you believed her.

They don't know that when you were eight years old, you tried to tell your mother that you felt like maybe you didn't have a gender, fumbling through how to explain it (because how  _do_ you explain it?) and how she laughed at you and said if you weren't a girl, maybe you were an it. And that's all she called you for a month until you finally broke down and lied and told her that you were a girl after all. She put pink bows in your hair and pink lipstick on your mouth and the worst thing is, it almost felt nice.

They don't know and you don't know how to tell them, because whenever you try, your throat locks up and your vision starts to darken and you think that maybe it doesn't matter, because it's over now, right? But it does matter, because it's not over in your head.

"My mom," you finally manage to say, staring intently at the carpet. Toriel must have just vacuumed because there are still vacuum tracks in the carpet and your eyes follow each one. "Not Toriel."

"Fuck her," Chara tells you immediately, and this time, Asriel doesn't protest. He squeezes your hand, though, and the pressure calms you.

"You don't even know what she's like," you protest- why you're sticking up for her, you don't know, but you're compelled to anyway.

"I don't have to," Chara sneers, but it's not directed at you. They scoot closer, although you can see the exhaustion drooping in their shoulders. "Anyone who makes you freak out like that on just seeing them ain't worth knowing what they're like. I can guess." Their eyes are dark with ghosts and you shiver a bit.

"They're right, kiddo," Sans says softly. "You want me to get Tori?"

You shake your head reflexively, but Chara glares at you.

"Yes, Frisk would," they reply, and you subside. You do want your Mom- your  _real_ mom, even if genetics wouldn't agree. She might be a monster, but monsterhood only runs skin deep. Your birth mother is more a monster than Toriel could ever hope to be.

It only takes a few minutes before she's kneeling before you, holding out her arms, and you scramble into them without a word. She's soft and warm and reassuringly  _real_ and you don't realize you're crying until you see the damp spot spreading across her sweater.

"S-sorry," you hiccup, but she reassures you immediately, stroking your back and telling you that it's okay, she doesn't mind, she loves you.

"All of you," Toriel adds, and you know that something must have shown on Chara's face (they aren't as good at hiding anymore as they think they are).

"I  _know_ that," Chara pipes up anyway, and you hide a smile.

"Are you all right, child?" Toriel asks, setting you back a little so she can peer at your face. You nod.

 _A little,_ you sign, because it's easier than talking, and she smiles, hugging you back to her briefly before letting you go.

"I'm glad," she says. "Now- weren't you going to get Alphys a birthday present?"

"Yeah," Asriel replies for you. "Maybe uh, we should go to a different store?" 

 _Yes, please_ , you tell him.

Sans grins at you, and you can tell it's a proper smile this time.

"Let's go then," he says.

"And Chara, please remember your crutches," Toriel says, rising gracefully to her feet. Chara scowls in the direction of their mobility aids, but hooks them over grudgingly enough.

"Fine," they grumble, but as you take Toriel's hand to help yourself up, you can see pink color wash over Chara's cheeks and you know they don't mind, not really. 


End file.
